Presidential Suite
Finding an unlocked door to the presidential suite of the flagship hotel in Natchez, Mike steps inside…
Good evening, everyone! This is Mike George coming at you on a special edition of Open Mike LIVE… After Dark! It is definitely after dark in this marvelous corner Presidential suite of the Grand Hotel, as it has no electricity!
Turns out that, while undergoing renovations, the hotel has failed to lock the door on this unit. Go figure! For once, I get to benefit from a little bit of incompetence…
Seems that folks down here seem to favor the old-school kerosene lamps, so I will say, as an electrical engineer working in the utility industry, “fuck electricity!” Especially when it means I get a free room out of it!
This incredible discovery makes up for the utter bullshit I’ve had to deal with recently at the Holiday Inn. If you saw my last broadcast, you might recall the sheer incompetence and lack of empathy with both the Natchez Police Department and the hotel staff at the Holiday Inn.
But the Lord is a funny Lord. And the Lord knows how much bullshit I’ve been through in the last few months… so this feels like a handsome reward. I swear, if I didn't believe in the Lord before, I definitely believe in the Lord now!
Look at this place! I have this lovely balcony all to myself. In fact, since this is a corner unit, I have two balconies to choose from. It’s like a dream come true!
This hotel room presents a bit of a fixer-upper, but if there’s one thing I know how to manage as a gay man, it’s a fixer-upper!
I have to be smart about this, though. I don't want to somehow get caught by the hotel staff or some random off-duty police officer. Natchez is a small town, and you’d be amazed how quickly word gets around! People love to talk, so sometimes you just have to give them a good show!
The nice thing is that this isn't the only unit under renovation; turns out, about half this hotel floor is being worked on, so I don't even have neighbors to worry about.
Despite the lack of finished electric work, we do have working amenities like running water, and I think we even have hot water! I have a working sink and a working shower. Plus, there’s a kitchen with running water… This is marvelous! The only unfortunate thing is, I won't be able to apply this free stay toward my points…
I actually wasn't looking to score a presidential suite for free; I was just trying to see if a room was open, so I could snatch a breakfast voucher! But this is so much better. I feel like I’ve just unlocked a secret level on a video game. I mean, weirder things have happened.
My only immediate yellow flag? There was a Diet Coke left here. I did a little investigative diligence, and judging by how flat it is, it’s definitely been a few hours since the last person — presumably a construction worker — was in this hotel room. Since there’s a fair bit of electrical work that needs to be done here, I can just call myself the construction guy that left the door open for myself. That sounds like a pretty legit alibi, doesn’t it?
Since tomorrow is Sunday, and there will be nobody working, I might as well keep this room an extra night!
I am making a pledge right now that I am fucking a lad in this presidential suite! I cannot stay in an unfinished presidential suite of The Grand Hotel and not take advantage of this. I’m getting right on Grindr to find some good dick! That’s the only thing missing from this entire blessing tonight: some good dick to fuck on this wonderful king-sized bed. Maybe I’ll even get lucky and find a kind gentleman who’s a paying guest, one who has an actual finished unit in which I might be able to cuddle with him.
The Lord has been more than plenty, so I'm not pressing my luck! I hope you all are having a lovely evening. Mine has been fantastic! This place has been truly magical, Natchez.
Y’all be good, stay safe, and remember - If you got some free space to share with somebody, use it. Nobody likes an idle, vacant, unused space in the midst of a homelessness crisis.
